Join the queue.

So I am standing in the cafeteria, waiting for my turn on the queue to pick my food up. This means as you enter, you go to the back and join the queue. At least, thats how it should be. Queues are meant to be followed and you should wait your turn.

To some people, the people on the queue are very ‘stupid’ so they look for who they know on the line that is in the front and just enter the queue from there. And I am like, hellloooo!!! This thing drives me crazyyyyyy. Do not jump the queue. Join the queue and wait your turn for goodness sake. We formed a queue, we are not stupid but for orderliness sake. Then after forming the queue, some lousy individuals just walk in and penetrate themselves! I don’t know but it makes me so pissed off.

Everyone, including me, is guilty of this, done unconsciously or consciously. Decisions are personal. I have made the decision to go to the very back of the queue and wait my turn no matter how long the queue is. It is not stupidity and it’s not me proving anything to anybody but it is doing what is right while everybody does the wrong thing. So do the right things even when nobody is watching. Do the right thing even if it looks completely stupid.

Please follow rules as they are laid down. Don’t jump the queue. Wait for your turn! This applies to life as well. When it’s your turn, it’s your turn. No one can ‘bounce’ you. No one can dismiss you. You have waited and now it’s your turn. But don’t cheat people out of theirs to get yours because you would get cheated too. So wait, good things come to those who wait. Let us stop being in a hurry. It doesn’t yield much.

Wait your turn, don’t jump the queue. God bless you. 

AFOMA.

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OBSERVATIONS OF A SILLY CHURCH GIRL PART 2

So last week, y’all read from Queen Natalia about distractions at church. Like she said, we attend two churches, one in the estate we live in and our family church. Trust me, the distraction at the family church is way more! Likeee nooo, can y’all just let me listen to the word of God?

It starts from the entrance. So the Reverend Father is entering and we are all trying to sing the hymn and just prepare ourselves to hear from God, then I look sideways and see someone struggling to walk, like fam if you can’t wear heels, why wear them? Sometimes, I silently pray that she falls. I’m not mean! That’s one distraction because I am basically following her legs till she gets to the altar.
Okay, I bring myself back and focus. Time to read from the bible and the lector is just up there murdering the words and inside of me is screaming for him to stop and instead of listening because I cant, I am just wondering.
We move through the readings, and we are seated for the homily and then here

comes the early ones, the ones that are most punctual, the early birds. Nno! I know emergencies can come up but every Sunday? It’s like some people have emergencies every Sunday. Oya sharply enter na, they are taking their time! No, this can’t be legal! Lol. And I am just there following every single one them till they sit down.

Then the children! Some never keep quiet! They are crying without stopping to breathe in. How do they do it? Poor me, I am looking from mother to child, like would one of you do something.

At the end of church, I come out claiming I went to church. But throughout, I wasn’t even minding my business but how can I? Tell me.
I now have to make a conscious effort to remain focused in church. Working so far! Please remain focused in church lol. Have a blessed week fam,
Afoma!

OBSERVATIONS/DISTRACTIONS OF A SILLY CHURCH GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was in Church earlier today supposedly absorbing the word of God but nooooooo I was so distracted🤦🏽‍♀🤦🏽‍♀. I am a Catholic and I attend two Catholic churches. One in my estate for days of convenience and my actual family church. The one is my estate is literally a distraction trap for me. Every time I go there, it takes divine strength to concentrate…Lol! And that is where I went to today. So I decided to share my distractions with you all. Isn’t that wonderful?😁😁😁 Literally another story time😁😁😁

First on the list of my many distractions is dressing o! Oh my goodness! You need to see the array. There are the ones that forget that they are going to church and dress like they are going to a club. Quite frankly, they are club worthy clothes. I am like youdonmeanit! Why don’t you just come naked as you were born?🙄 A lady sat in front of me yeah wearing this shape defining dress. Her back was on full display and the dress was so low cut that I started evaluating the science behind the possibility of wearing a bra with a dress like this. Few minutes after sitting down, she stood up and walla her whole bra, everything o was out on display. I was just observing the whole movement. I think as she stepped out, someone must have told her because when she came back, she had pushed everything back to the appropriate quarters. Then there are the people that wear the shortest dresses. Short is even an understatement. I am literally awestruck each time one of them passes. Like this is a church o! Aren’t we supposed to be modest even if it is a tiny bit? Like no one has to tell you what you are wearing is too short, you know it is my dear. In another corner, we have the ladies that wear the most transparent things with weird coloured underwear. At this juncture I am tempted to stop them and just ask why? Why? But no I love to mind my small business.😉😁 In a different zone, we have men that will wear fine blazer and be looking sweet😋 from afar till you see the length of the trouser. I am sorry did material finish in the market? I have never been able to understand this jumping trousers fashion. Please somebody, anybody, enlighten me on the purpose🙏🏽. I would appreciate the lesson…..lol. Oh! And let me not forget the ones that sag to church. You sag on the streets and inside church as well. Okay o! Wehdone!👍🏽👍🏽

The second thing on my list is MAKEUP!!!! I have finally come to realise that some people have terrible family members that will let their mums, sisters and aunties leave the house looking like masquerades..lol! Ladies, you know it is not every colour that looks perfect on you or every style of make up, right? We actually need to look for what suits us best and not just put on some funny looking stuff because other people are doing it. You do not have to draw on your eyebrows if you do not know how to. It is okay not to be perfect. You can ask someone to teach you or watch tutorials on YouTube. But please let us stop with the scary makeup. Let us try to stick to things that complement our skins. We are all different with different face structures. Just because Nkechi can wear sharp pink lipstick does not mean Onyeka can slay with same.

Another branch of my distraction is the late comers. This is a very important area for me. Growing up, I have never understood why people come late for anything especially to church. Do you know the funny thing? They will come late and still be the ones to drag seat with you. What were they doing when you woke up early, came to church and sat on a pleasant seat of your choice?🤔🤔🤔 I do not take for granted the fact that emergencies do come up but there are certain perpetual late comers. There is no emergency or anything, they are just late. For me, it is kind of sad because you miss certain important aspects of the ceremony.

Then how many of you guys have noticed that mothers have a particular way of dancing? Every time it is time for women thanksgiving, I always have a good laugh mahn! There is just a way they all move and really have fun in that moment. It is sweet!😁😁

Oh and today was also the day all the characters in my head decided to have a meeting. They just seemed to be catching up. Every time I tried to concentrate, one new character came alive🤦🏽‍♀. What a trap?

My very personal distraction is the this hot hot guy in choir. Oh my goodness!! I do not have enough words to use to describe him. Where I sit gives me a pleasant view of the choir. Every time, I finally have a solemn moment, my guy will stand up to do something. You already know that the solemn moment is all over yo! Why he got to be that fine??? He is another trap!

At this point, you are possibly wondering what time I had to listen in church. Well I am an excellent multitasking machine. In the midst of my numerous distractions, I learnt something o! The readings and homily of the day was centred on trust in God for you are as good as cursed if you put your trust in your fellow man. Sooooooo I urge you all to always remember where your strength cometh from. It is not from earthly beings but from the Almighty God. You see I was not completely useless after all😁😁😁😁

I have put a few of my distractions up there and I honestly cannot remember the rest now. Let me know if you ever get distracted in church and by what😏 This should be fun.

Till the next post, Stay Blessed!!!!

Queen NATALIA.

LOSING MYSELF🙈🙈🤦🏽‍♀🤷🏽‍♀

Hello lovelies!!!! I am really happy to be here again. I have been away for so long and I do not have a valid excuse. I am so sorry.

The truth is I have been through some self imposed sad times in the last couple of months. I have just been in this frame of mind where I have felt like I was not good enough for anyone or anything. Well it is story time so I am going to tell you why and what I am doing differently now.

It all started from law school. For our dedicated readers, you would have noticed that I wrote a bit more at the beginning of law school. I had little experiences to share with you all and then it all ceased. Well this is why, I became a Group Leader!!!!😭😭😭😭 It was such a tough time for me. I had the sweetest group members but they were few compared to the ones that were designed to frustrate me out of existence. All my life I have been used to being the very best at everything I did. You know I got accolades (nothing serious o). I loved leadership but here I was losing myself. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get the whole group to the perfection I wanted. There were sleepless nights of perfecting the work and a lot of tears. Eventually I did what I ought not to have done- I gave up on the goal. I gave up on pushing to be the best. I gave up on trying too hard. Very few people appreciated my efforts anyway. They would tell me “ask Y”. His group always gets it right. I stopped being the ” Y”. It seemed like my whole being was shattered and it had a spiral effect on every part of my life. I stopped writing or doing anything. I did not even know what I wanted to do anymore. I tried writing a few times and my skill set seemed very rough. I always concluded that it was not good enough to put out there.

Fast forward to after law school, it was time for NYSC. For the first time in my life I wanted to melt away. I did not want to speak to anybody. I did not want to help anybody. I did not want a position. I wanted to go unnoticed and unheard. I was convinced I wasn’t good enough. So for three weeks in camp, I was the diluted version of myself. I am never at the back in class or anywhere but in camp I was always at the back and totally unbothered about what was going on.

Then bar II results came out. I got a 2:1. Initially, I thought I could not make a 1st because of how other duties had drained my reading time. However, so many people believed in me. They were so sure I would make a 1st and that propelled me to work for it and believe it was possible. When I resumed at the law office I was posted to, one of the lawyers was certain I would make a 1st. Imagine the pressure I was feeling! I really wanted a first in undergrad but again I missed it. I thought a first from law school would be lovely. I refused to be stressed about the delay in releasing the result. I was certain of what it was going to be and boom it was a 2:1. A 2:1!!!! I cried and cried and silly me, I interpreted it to mean I wasn’t good enough for a first as well. Twice I tried to get it and twice I failed. I slipped into subtle depression. I did not really care about the ceremony. I was disappointed in myself and with every passing day I lost a tiny bit of my self esteem. Until I felt completely lost. Current status report: It dawned on me that not everybody passed you know. So, I have taken a different route of gratitude. Every time, I am reminded 161 people made a first. It makes me shiver with disappointment but then again, a lot more than that failed. So, GRATITUDE IT IS. Eventually, I will get over it.

Oh and recently, you would never guess what happened. I decided to order a dress for my birthday. It was a really pretty dress butttttttttttt when it arrived, I almost died. In fact, I mentally collapsed. Like why?????? To make things worse, my birthday is a Monday so that is a boring work day. My friends and I had planned to have dinner the Saturday after. Then, something possessed them to prank me and tell me they cannot make it. I had a bad dress and friends cancelling on me. I am definitely not worthy of celebrating my birthday as well. Well, eventually I found out it was a prank and I ordered another dress. Yayy!!!!! Problem solved yes? Noooo!!! INEC decided to postpone the election to the Saturday designated for the dinner. Well I guess this dinner was not meant to happen. You can see how I have taken every little thing going on as evidence of my unworthiness and that is all wrong! It is a very dangerous path to take because disappointments are abound in life and it should not be a parameter for who you are.

So this is me as bare as ever. I have gone from the girl that was super active in secondary school to a girl comfortable in a tiny little shell because I let little bits of life cage me.  I started thinking, what spell has been cast upon me? What is wrong with me? Where has my self motivation gone? Why do I feel less than who I am?

Honestly, I am not there yet but I realised I had to push myself out of this bubble. I am what I believe I am. I have spent such a long time telling myself that I am not good enough. I believed it and started acting accordingly😔😔 but that is not true anymore.

I know there are people out there that feel less and suffer from depression. I am here to tell you that you gat this ❤ All you need is to change your mindset about yourself. Love yourself. Speak positively to and about yourself. Recently, I have started guarding my peace of mind with everything I have got. I cannot have low self esteem issues and have humans add to the stress🤦🏽‍♀ Hell to the no! If you have been like me, telling yourself you are not good enough, well I got word for you. YOU ARE SO DAMN WORTH IT AND YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE MY DARLING. YOU ARE GREATNESS PERSONIFIED!

It is my birthday in 2 days time and I figured this is the best time to step out and start afresh with a renewed spirit. So 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂to you all and most importantly, to the woman I am turning out to be. I am not even ready for myself yet😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Stay Blessed!

Queen NATALIA