I am not even going to lie, failing sucks! Like in a major way, especially when you fail at something you were so prepared for; when you fail at something you have waited for; when you fail at something you have thought through. It hurts more when you fail at something you committed into God’s hands and you knew He gave you the go ahead. What does one do then? When you are so mad at God and you can’t even explain it? What happens when God becomes the last person you want to hear about because ‘He is supposedly the cause of the failure’. That feeling sucks and I know this because I have been there. I have felt it. I have thought the thoughts and I have disliked God in a very big way because He wasn’t there when He should have been. He was acting like He had favourites.
Let’s take this scene to the last class of senior secondary school where we are meant to sit for the West African Senior School Certificate Examination. I had done my part, I had read and when I say read, I mean read! I prayed, I committed all into the Lord’s hands, I was pretty confident in myself (not overconfident but confident enough). To top it up, the questions were pretty fair, and I was expecting my perfect looking result slip with 9 A1’s (yes, I don’t settle). Well, result day came, there was a C, a lot of B’s and 2 A’s (sigh). What sort of rubbish, am I right? I didn’t even know how to react; I just went to my room and balled my eyes out and very well blaming God. He saw how hard I worked, He saw everything and yet He didn’t crown my efforts with good success. I felt so bad.
What then do we do when we fail or when we lose, and it looks like everything is lining up against you? Back then, I didn’t know how to react. I only felt a lot of anger.
Recently, I received another heart-breaking result. Oh, and this one is way way more important than WASSCE. I failed. When I saw the result, again, I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t cry. It was like my body prevented me from crying. I wasn’t processing it. I read, I prayed, I spoke out in faith, I believed, I trusted, I knew God was with me through it all and somehow, someway, it was like He fell my hand yet again. I wanted to blame Him, I wanted to be angry with Him, but I couldn’t. I am glad I couldn’t. I am grateful I couldn’t because I know that if I have God, He is working out everything for my good. He is working out everything for your good.
What happened between WASSCE and now? Why couldn’t I blame God? There is this grace of being able to take an L and still praise God. This comes from seeking out the Lord, seeking His face, dwelling in His presence, and just knowing. I pray that this grace dwells in each and every one of us, it makes things easier honestly. This is not to say I am perfect, or I have it all figured out (that would be a major lie). But as Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Nation would say ‘Progression over Perfection.’
Taking an L, taking your loss, taking our losses can be a very difficult task, especially when the L isn’t an exam lol, but take the L. Take the L because He is working through it for us. It can be difficult, it can seem impossible, but I pray that whatever failure or loss it is, that God will help you process it. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help you heal and that you will be prepared for what is coming because God specialises in exceeding our expectations.
Oh, and guess what? I am so excited to see what He is about to do in my life. I have a feeling my mind is about to be blown like never before. I have a feeling He is about to bless me so much that my head will be turnioniown.
Till then, lean in! God is forever good. Amen!
P.s: There is this amazing movie called High Calling by Mount Zion I found on YouTube and it literally drives home the message. God always has a plan!